Posted by Conor Duffy on Sep 2nd, 2009
Although I’m a pinko Commie liberal scumbag in my day-to-day life, I do enjoy turning to the dark side on occasion. I can still remember playing Dungeon Keeper in my teens, siding with the bad guys in Command & Conquer, and in more recent times exploiting the capitalist system in the wonderful Oiligarchy. But why are these games so popular? Well, d’uh! They’re fun! Sure, doing good to your fellow man is important, and everything, but sometimes you just want to let your inner bastard out to play.
That’s why I had such high hopes for Axis of Evil, a game that allows you to be an evil dictator hell bent on becoming a nuclear power. Of course, it wouldn’t be in this week’s Big Mean Flash Gamer if it was any good, and its rating on Addicting Games told me as much before I even clicked the Play button. But since I’m a glutton for punishment, I had to give it a shot.
The first job is to name and design your dictator. Here’s my guy, Gregory McAsshat; although he is a prick, he does have a bitchin’ beard and pipe combo going on, so it’s hard not to give him some kudos.
The next decision is to choose what region you want your dictatorship to be a part of. There are three choices of varying difficulty, each area described by a man who sounds almost exactly like Eugene Hutz, lead singer of gypsy punks Gogol Bordello. This was the best thing about the game, other than the ability to name your character McAsshat. I decided to go with the easiest region, which is the Far East.
So we get on with the game proper, and before doing anything else I’m asked if I want to set up a statue to commemorate my victory in the entirely fair elections. Well, sure, why not? I suppose it isn’t such a hot idea, because every time you build something it reduces your support among the people. I don’t think it’s actually building stuff that gets them down, but rather what you build. Hospitals and schools would be a good choice, but in Axis of Evil the emphasis is on firepower, and lots of it.
You’re going to need it, too, because you start getting attacked almost immediately. I don’t know who these guys are, but since I haven’t bombed any neighbouring countries I can only assume they’re rebels. There’s some crap about managing resources and setting a price for them on the world market to raise funds, but really the most important thing is killing anyone who tries to get close to your city. So I guess this is some kind of war game, right? Well, I sure hope not, because if it is, then it’s one of the worst war games I’ve ever played.
How bad could it be? Turn to Page 2 and find out.
Related posts:
- Beyond Good & Evil 2?
- A Comic Rundown Green With Envy (and some Evil)
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Potty Racers
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: HardCourt
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: S.W.A.T. 3
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