So, I don’t have anything bad to say about the actual gameplay. Once you’ve successfully completed a level, you get the opportunity to improve one of your stats, either kicking power or the speed with which your team mate throws in the balls. And as the game progresses you’ll get new types of ball that will help you kill zombies faster. But it’s from the second level onwards that things get a bit iffy.

At first impressions, it looks no worse than before. Naturally, there are more zombies, including one or two who climb out of the ground (what they were doing there in the first place, it’s hard to say, but as far as I know the Stadium of Light isn’t built on an Indian burial ground.) But really, it shouldn’t be a huge problem – just make sure every shot counts and use the metal-plated ball for maximum damage. No, it shouldn’t be that much harder than level one. And yet, it is – much harder, to be exact.

I don’t think the zombies are moving any faster, nor are they any stronger. Indeed, I should have the advantage here, what with my upgrades. So how come I kept getting eaten again and again by the zombies? Well, the first reason could be because the stat upgrades are of little benefit. I tried increasing the speed of throw-ins – no luck. I tried upgrading the power of my kicks – same result. The metal ball certainly did a better job than the original leather one, but other than that I saw no significant change in skill between levels.

Another problem might have been the sheer idiocy of my team mate. Although I could move my character more than halfway across the game screen, the other guy only threw balls to the same spot. So if I can’t control where the balls will be thrown, and if the guy throwing them only ever picks the same spot, what’s the point of moving around? Sure, I guess it gives me a chance to kick the ball again, should it roll back to me, but other than that there’s no real reason.

I wouldn’t mind except, even when I’m trapped at the very edge of the screen and a zombie is bearing down on me, that son of a bitch still throws the ball to the same damn spot. What am I supposed to do, weave around the zombie? This isn’t the FA Cup final – I don’t really have that option!

I probably wouldn’t get so annoyed about dying so often if there was some kind of save feature. Considering the overwhelming likelihood of death, having the chance to save the game or including a lives system would have been a godsend. Naturally, the developers of Death Penalty don’t bother. So I was trapped in a vicious cycle, playing my way through the piss easy first level only to get chewed up (literally and figuratively) in the second. And if you do happen to get through level two, things don’t get any better. From zombies wearing road cones over their heads to a weird combination of a soccer player and the Black Knight, you’re not just thrown into the deep end – someone forces your head under the water and keeps it there. And of course, dying only means you’re sent all the way back to square one.

I know for a fact that it is possible to make a decent game like this, and I know that there are plenty of zombie titles that entertain gamers the world over. But, once again, I have stumbled upon a putrid pile of rotting flesh, the electronic abomination that is Death Penalty. There’s no fun, no scares, and no way I’ll be going back to this game any time soon.

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Related posts:

1. Big Mean Flash Gamer: Flash Runner
2. Big Mean Flash Gamer: Professional Sniper
3. Big Mean Flash Gamer: Shopping Street
4. Big Mean Flash Gamer Reviews StickBrix
5. Big Mean Flash Gamer reviews Stone Age Conqueror