Posted by Conor Duffy on Nov 18th, 2009
You know, I feel bad about this week’s review. I rarely do about any of the games I review for Big Mean Flash Gamer, because I am a shell of a human being, incapable of compassion or love for my fellow man. But even I’m not made of stone.
The genesis of Flame Puppy was the meeting of Addicting Games and children’s TV station Nickelodeon. As part of the network’s animation festival, the folks at AG sponsored the I Got Game contest. The winner was one Debbie Scheller, who created Flame Puppy. The game itself was then made by software developers MadFatCat.
I’m sorry to Nickelodeon, who really had very little to do with the contest. I’m sorry to Addicting Games, who I’ve admittedly ragged on far too much in the past. And I’m sorry to Debbie Scheller, who simple wanted to make a dog that shoots flames out of its mouth whenever it barks. But MadFatCat made a game that sucks balls.
A side scrolling action game, Flame Puppy has you control the titular pooch through three levels of frankly insulting simplicity. Now, I will stop and note this: I understand that this game was not made for me. It was made for Nickelodeon viewers, who are largely children. So it would be wrong of me to expect Megaman here.
Actually, hold on – Megaman was a game that a lot of people reading this played as a kid. When I was eight I played Sonic The Hedgehog on the Sega Master System. You ever play those Labyrinth Zone levels, where you have to walk around under water and try not to drown? That shit was hard!
Or how about Shinobi? I beat the second boss in that game once. Yeah, once – that’s how hard it was. And when I played these finger-breaking, controller-snapping games, I wasn’t any older than your average Nickelodeon viewer. So I take it back – why should today’s generation of gamers be mollycoddled? Life is hard, and their games should be too!
Anyway, where was I? Right, Flame Puppy. It’s all really elementary. In the first level you use your fiery breath to torch postmen (the dog’s natural enemy) and little boys who… want to hug you? Wait, why are we killing them? Those kids didn’t want to cause us any harm! Flame Puppy just wants to have some fun, but apparently that fun involves turning Nickelodeon’s viewers into charred corpses. This game is sending out really mixed messages.
Naturally, your flame breath is dependent on the amount of gas in your stomach, so Flame Puppy occasionally has to eat dog treats and Frisbees (the cornerstone of any nutritious diet.) As time goes on and you destroy more items and people you’ll accumulate Puppy Points, which give you more abilities and increase the power of your flames.
More fire-related mishaps on Page 2.
Related posts:
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Flash Runner
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Micro Rider
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Celebrity Pedigree
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Professional Sniper
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Death Penalty
Pages: 1 2
Related posts:
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Flash Runner
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Micro Rider
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Celebrity Pedigree
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Professional Sniper
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Death Penalty
Comments are currently closed.
