So, anyway, you pick your date, costume and venue (though I didn’t realise anyone other than goths thought graveyards were romantic) and then set about having the perfect date. This is achieved by finding five spots that, when clicked, cause something scary to happen. Your character then screams and at the end you both kiss.

Yeah, I don’t really understand it either. How exactly does that make for a wonderful date? Has it got something to do with the idea of fear as an aphrodisiac? Am I giving the developer of this game too much credit? I think it’s because your date is secretly a violent misogynist who gets off on the screams of young woman, but that concept probably wouldn’t sit well with the game’s core demographic.

You click on the five spots, none of which will be hard to find as they’re usually so obvious, the guy and the girl kiss, and then the game ends. That’s it. That’s all there is to this game. Click on five things and you win. I wish I could say there was more to it than that, but there isn’t. I’m actually insulted by how ridiculously simple Spooky Love is. The only game I can think of that asks less of you is You Have To Burn The Rope, and it had an awesome song at the end. This just has ads for other crappy games.

I guess you could play it again and change things up a bit, but why bother? Nothing’s really different. Stuff happens, she screams, he sweats for some inexplicable reason, they kiss and that’s it. Looking back on it, I’m not sure why I thought reviewing this game would be a good idea, because there’s nothing to review! What was I thinking?

Oh, I know. I was thinking that someone sat down and actually wasted time making this. Someone took time out of their lives to present a game so stupidly simple, so bland, so visually and technically uninspired that I actually feel cheated. I feel like this game owes me money, as well as the precious minutes I spent playing it. And I use the word “playing” loosely, because all I really did was click the mouse a few times. I could have done the same thing checking my e-mails and have made better use of the time.

The reason I find Spooky Love and the Twilight series so similar is because they’re both ridiculously unoriginal and incredibly boring. There’s as much going on here as there is in any of Stephenie Meyer’s books. The only good thing is that Spooky Love probably won’t inspire countless megabytes of slash fan fiction involving gay werewolves. Every cloud, huh?

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Related posts:

1. Talk Like a Gamer: Win & Love
2. Big Mean Flash Gamer: Flash Runner
3. Big Mean Flash Gamer: Canabalt
4. Big Mean Flash Gamer: Micro Rider
5. Big Mean Flash Gamer: HardCourt