Posted by Conor Duffy on Dec 30th, 2009
I don’t know how I’m supposed to review this game when there’s nothing to review. If you fall off the platforms or the ground or even just walk to the edge of the screen the weird man falls off and disappears. The only thing you can do is reload the page, asking yourself, “Why are you reloading the page!? What’s wrong with you!?”
The answer, of course, is that you’ve been sucked in. You’ve finally discovered a game so bad that it makes you want to punch orphans and you can’t take your eyes away. It’s like when 9/11 happened and every news network on the planet continuously showed that footage of the second plane hitting the South Tower – it made you sick to your stomach watching it, but you still watched it, trapped in a state of unfathomable shock. Platform Robot 2 is the 9/11 of online games.
Naturally Geirki, the creator of this abomination, had something to say to all the haters:
“FOR EVERYONE COMMENTING ON THIS: Nobody ever said you HAD to play this and I am trying to make an actual game but I don’t know how. I am currently learning how, anyone that would like to help with that process, please leave a SHOUT on my page”
So what we have here is a person barely capable of writing a “Hello World!” program uploading their half-ass attempt at a platform game on an unsuspecting world and getting upset when the world doesn’t electronically fellate their genius. Well, I’ve got a shout for you, Geirki – YOU RUINED MY LIFE! You took my very being and put it through the God damn wringer! I will hunt you down with dogs and then I will shove pineapples into every orifice in your body!
GRRAAAARRRGGHHHH!
But just when you think it can’t get any worse, you remember that this game is called Platform Robot 2.
2.
As in, the sequel.
Oh God! It’s the exact same game! It’s the exact same game!
Geirki made the same game twice!
OK, I’m done. I… I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know what makes sense now. I need to be alone for a while. I’ll be back next week, but… I don’t even know why.
Related posts:
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Xnail
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Related posts:
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Xnail
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Flash Runner
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Apollo 11 – Mission To The Moon
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Micro Rider
- Big Mean Flash Gamer: Spooky Love
Comments are currently closed.
This is not a game. This is… I don’t even know WHAT it is.
On the plus side… at least we know where the people who programmed Action 52 ended up. They obviously worked on this dreck.
Also, when you say you want to shove “pineapples” up every orifice of the author’s body, are you referring to the actual fruit or the slang term for a hand grenade?
Either way, I fully endorse this course of action…